No, You Don’t Want to “Just Chill”
Alarm set, teeth brushed. I’m in bed early, only to stare at the inside of my eyelids for the upcoming hours of restlessness. These symptoms of anxiety come to me the night before a day of sizable surf, a big shoot, or a strenuous day.
My memory sucks. Plain and simple. It’s the worst out of all of my peers. “Hey Paul, remember that time blah, blah, blah?” No. Frankly, my selective memory is a little freaky and kinda sad. So, what do I remember? What stories do I tell? The times where I pushed myself, was scared, performed at my peak, or tried something new. Days with zero chill.
Nature has a way of rewarding you for having zero chill. They’re called endorphins and they’re an amazing drug, but they only come with hard work.
The games that rerun on ESPN Classic are the ones where two teams are performing at their absolute peak and going back and forth. Who wants to watch a blowout again and again?
I don’t understand pro surfers. Surfing is ridiculously fear inducing. As you improve so do your needs to test your new found abilities. This often comes in the form of surfing over sharp, shallow, and sometimes urchin infested reef. It’s the worst and messes up sleep patterns! But, it’s what keeps the rippers ripping as they work towards mastery of their craft. It’s finding the edge of chaos and order. Being on this edge blocks everything else out and induces the flow state.
Jordan Peterson sums up what I’m trying to say nicely in this 1 minute video.(And yes, he uses the surfing analogy too which fires me up).
Goals?
“Retirement” This looks boring to me!
Chilling is idealized in the American culture. We look on our socials and look at these people who seem to just chill all day. Meanwhile, we’re working hard and looking forward to the weekend to “just chill”. Next thing you know, chilling turns into alcohol which turns into hangover, and that’s not chilling. Alcohol take us to that edge of chaos and order. Perhaps we use it when there’s unclear goal or a murky path to achieve the goal, because it numbs that pain, but also makes the path harder. I think the tendency to over-indulge could partially derive from some sort of intrinsic need to challenge yourself and push your previously set boundaries. Hmmmm.
Think back to your most memorable days. Was it an easy day? Or, did it involve some sort of struggle, adventure, adrenaline, test of competence etc.? What are your favorite party stories to tell? Do they all seem to have a common theme?
We crave a challenge and a goal that is worthy of our time on Earth. We think we want it to come easy, but in reality, do we?
Daily Stoke
This is day #4 of my 30 day writing challenge and my 10th day of living in Mexico. Yesterday — Average to slightly above average stoke.
I’m stoked because I’m finally figuring out the public transportation around here. It kinda cracks me up stuffing into the metro and I’m the only gringo. I kinda dig it for some reason, but that might just get a little old. I’m digging this writing challenge because a couple of old my teammates/buddies joined me on this thirty day venture. It feels like we have a little team again, so I’m excited to see where this goes.
Today is my last night living downtown. No, I don’t know where I’ll go next. I might haggle the landlord for cheaper rent here and stay with the gringo I moved in with, or try a hostel in a different area. No clue.. I better decide fast though, cause I kinda gotta move out.. now? Idk.
They have best fitness app here btw. It’s like Classpass in the states, but it’s unlimited and I’ve been filling my days with doing random classes trying to make amigos, stay fit, and have fun for when I finally get some auditions and castings flowing in.
Hasta Manana locos.
