Girls are from…
Valentine’s meant nothing but, sweet, sweet, chocolate in the shape of hearts back in the day. I’d trade the other crap for the chocolate. Oh how things changed in the fifth grade. Not really for me, but for my classmates. All the sudden, it was cool to like a girl. I didn’t really understand such a notion, because girls were…simply put, boring. But I caved. I don’t know.. I guess I wanted to be cool. So it was the fifth grade I got me a special friend and participated in the “like” thing. I seem to remember one hallmark bear (or was it a beanie baby??) that was my token of like. I presented this to the boring girl and next thing you know, we were in like and I still didn’t get it.
Fast-forward to 2020 and some things about the way I see girls are the same, others have changed a bit.
Girls are still: confusing, strange, scary, and somehow always smarter.
Differences: It’s fun to have friend girls, I have a desire to mate.
Dodged a Few..
My buddies are finding mates left and right. Every time they stand up on that wedding stage my tear ducts fill up and I just feel all sorts of things. Luckily, I haven’t attended a wedding that didn’t seem like “fate”.
When I watch vows go down and rings exchanged, the tears of joy stem from the pure beauty of the two lovebirds getting hitched, but also out of my knowing that I made the right (or got dumped) relationship decisions. I’ve learned so much from each relationship I’ve been in. This information is valuable. It helps me determine qualities I need in a potential life partner and some things to avoid. The times we had are priceless, but one things for sure about my past relationships… I dodged a few bullets.
I have some freakin great relationship models to follow in the form of close friends and my family. There’s no doubt in my mind that I want to raise a family. There’s also no doubt that I want to do this with a woman who I will call wife. I’m so incredibly blessed to have been raised in a loving family with a mother and a father. But with whom, when, how, where? LOL no clue. It’s gonna be a grind and I can’t wait to find someone to take that adventure with.
One thing I know is that heartbreak sucks. It absolutely sucks. Do I need to go on? No. I prefer avoiding it. Do I always succeed? Not even close, but it’s the fear of heartbreak that keeps me from investing everything (also FOMO). But then again, heartbreak is part of life and being human. Feeling those emotions hurts, but a strict running away and avoidance of connection is also no way to live.
…
I’m so curious about the way us homo sapiens used to live. I’m curious about how they ate, how they wiped, religions, and family dynamics. My brief research on family dynamics (read these) from hunter gatherer times has me startled/it kinda makes sense. Monogamy may not be how humans originally did things. The long term pair bond may be against our human nature. Based on my reading, we used to have communal parenting and we didn’t even know who the father was of a certain child. In fact, we think that our hunter gatherer relatives believed in multiple fathers. Hook up generation, cheating, and polyamory make more sense now. Is it biological and in our best interest to be monogamous? Biological? Probably not. Best interest? Definitely. We’ve grown up with monogamy and there are very powerful stories behind it. There’s been death penalties in recent history for adultery. Times are simply different now, but I think these findings legitimize how hard it is for marriages to work.
Relationship dynamics of 2020 are different than they ever have been. Women in the workplace, birth control, etc. have the male-female relationship much different than it was in the not so distant past. But, I just realized something. Maybe it’s getting closer to what it used to be. Males and females had equally important roles to my understanding as opposed to what happened after agriculture took us away from our normal hunting and gathering. Women turned into property. We are thankfully wayyy past that now in 2020 and I can’t wait to see what the future holds.
Last part — Online Dating. Don’t hate, don’t judge, don’t feel above it. Again. 2020. We evolve. I‘ve been in a Tinder wedding.
PS PS — I don’t know what I’m talking about.
